Our Gifts From God: You Might Be Married to a Redneck If....

I love my in-laws. And in our family, you pick on the ones you love most. Right? So all this is meant in love - and laughter! It's for those of you not on facebook, who missed the daily update "redneck jokes." And yes, all theses things actually happened, I'm not creative enough to make this stuff up :)

You might be married to a redneck if... you leave on a date with your husband, and he's wearing realtree camo.

You might be married to a redneck if... your husband has to shampoo his head and face before he shaves, because his scruff has grown too long since his last shower, 4 days ago.

You might be married to a redneck if... you feel like you just walked into an episode of Duck Dynasty while shopping for your mother-in-law's birthday gift.

You might be married to a redneck if... your husband wants to buy his mother a rifle lock for her birthday.

You might be married to a redneck if... the closest grocery store doesn't sell diapers. But if you want to buy ammo, you can get some at a grocery store.

You might be married to a redneck if... your father-in-law has to move the deer carcass off the hill, so your kids can go sledding.

You might be married to a redneck if... when you chip your tooth, your father-in-law offers you his dremel tool. Because it worked well when he chipped a molar last year.

You might be married to a redneck if... your father-in-law's idea of dressing up for the Christmas Eve service is wearing a collared camo shirt with a coordinating neck tie. And your brother-in-law looks like Paul Bunyan.

You might be married to a redneck if... after opening Christmas presents and eating brunch, your husband declares that its time to "go shoot the dump." AKA got out back with lots of guns and shoot the snow covered pile of junk.

You might be married to a redneck if... your 1 year old uses a granade as a chew toy. (don't worry, it may have been real, but there was no powder in it. And even if there had been, the pin was locked down. haha)

You might be married to a redneck if... your kids' Christmas stockings are really just your father-in-law's wool socks.

You might be married to a redneck if... your kids each get coveralls for Christmas. And they love them.

You might be married to a redneck if... after "shooting the dump", the family takes a Christmas hayride thru the woods and snow for 45 min. With one dog in the trailer and one dog helping Pa drive the tractor.

You might be married to a redneck if... while on Mr Toad's Wild Hay ride, you cross over a frozen creek. But your husband claims it's just a mud puddle. (thank you, Aunt Monica, for the pics I stole off your facebook page :) )