You Might Be Married to a Redneck If....

I love my in-laws. And in our family, you pick on the ones you love most. Right? So all this is meant in love - and laughter! It's for those of you not on facebook, who missed the daily update "redneck jokes." And yes, all theses things actually happened, I'm not creative enough to make this stuff up  :)


You might be married to a redneck if... you leave on a date with your husband, and he's wearing realtree camo.

You might be married to a redneck if... your husband has to shampoo his head and face before he shaves, because his scruff has grown too long since his last shower, 4 days ago.

You might be married to a redneck if... you feel like you just walked into an episode of Duck Dynasty while shopping for your mother-in-law's birthday gift.

You might be married to a redneck if... your husband wants to buy his mother a rifle lock for her birthday.

You might be married to a redneck if... the closest grocery store doesn't sell diapers. But if you want to buy ammo, you can get some at a grocery store.

You might be married to a redneck if... your father-in-law has to move the deer carcass off the hill, so your kids can go sledding.

You might be married to a redneck if... when you chip your tooth, your father-in-law offers you his dremel tool. Because it worked well when he chipped a molar last year.

You might be married to a redneck if... your father-in-law's idea of dressing up for the Christmas Eve service is wearing a collared camo shirt with a coordinating neck tie. And your brother-in-law looks like Paul Bunyan.






You might be married to a redneck if... after opening Christmas presents and eating brunch, your husband declares that its time to "go shoot the dump." AKA got out back with lots of guns and shoot the snow covered pile of junk.

You might be married to a redneck if... your 1 year old uses a granade as a chew toy. (don't worry, it may have been real, but there was no powder in it. And even if there had been, the pin was locked down. haha)

You might be married to a redneck if... your kids' Christmas stockings are really just your father-in-law's wool socks.

You might be married to a redneck if... your kids each get coveralls for Christmas. And they love them.

You might be married to a redneck if... after "shooting the dump", the family takes a Christmas hayride thru the woods and snow for 45 min. With one dog in the trailer and one dog helping Pa drive the tractor. 

You might be married to a redneck if... while on Mr Toad's Wild Hay ride, you cross over a frozen creek. But your husband claims it's just a mud puddle. (thank you, Aunt Monica, for the pics I stole off your facebook page :) )

 

You might be married to a redneck if... you get your mother-in-law an ammo box for her birthday, to go with her new pistol.

And finally... 

You might be married to a redneck if... you call any of these people your in-laws:

Horsing Around at Granny & Pa's

The kids got to go horseback riding at Granny & Pa's.

They adored riding JJ with Aunt Monica in the blizzard!

Here's Nathan, with Granny walking beside:

Faith got to ride first, then patiently waited while her brother had a turn. She rarely wants her photo taken - or at least she's rarely willing to pose for a photo. But while waiting for Nathan to take his turn, Faith just wanted me to take pictures over her in the snow.

Such a cute little snow bunny!

After their rides, the kids helped Granny feed the horses.

They're big helpers! They enjoyed doing chores with Granny many times during our visit.

And rewarding JJ with carrots is always fun, too!

After the blizzard, the kids got another turn to ride the horses.

Here's Aunt Monica & Uncle Junior bringing the horses to the kids.

Riding horses is so much fun at Granny & Pa's house!

 The kids loved to watch the horses, too.

And pet them.

Here's Ruth's first encounter with the horses.

She was fascinated!

What fun we have at Granny & Pa's.

This kids miss them both, and their horses.

And we all miss the beautiful view Granny & Pa have, too.

We can't wait to see you again, Granny & Pa!

We all love you lots!

Christmas Morning 2012

The kids posed for a photo by the tree before heading out 

to the Christmas Eve service at Granny & Pa's church. 

Christmas morning, the kids were excited to open their gifts.

Nathan was eager to inspect, help, and ensure gift opening quality... ha

Ruthie had little interest in the gifts themselves. She preferred the bows!

Nathan played santa for a while and passed out gifts.

When he could see where he was going.

Ruth loves her new ball!

But bows are still best in her book ;)

Faith played santa for a while, too 

Junior was able to help Nathan opened taped boxes with his new fancy knife.

Pay no attention to the child picking his nose in the photo...

Granny, Faith & Nathan

Faith got a musical jewelry box that matches her Granny's!

She adores it!

And a stuffed cow for our little Ruthie!

But, again, Ruth was more interested in the packaging of gifts, instead of the gifts themselves

Bacon Soda. Yum!

You know you're loved when your wife buys you bacon soda ;)

If you could get past the smell of it, Uncle Junior claimed it wasn't bad. 

But then again, he did throw out 3/4 of the bottle.... 

The kids got new games from their Aunt Monica & Uncle Junior.

They LOVE the games and play them each at least twice a day.

Then there was a special gift for Uncle Junior, from Aunt Monica.

Jacob had a brillant idea to carefully unwrap one of his gifts, take out the gift and replace it with a gag gift. And then let the events unfold. mwahahahaha Brillant!

It's a onsie. And it says, "Mom's Greatest Gift"

An here, Uncle Junior's holding a positive pregnancy test

And now he's sweating like crazy. hahaha

I enjoyed watching Aunt Monica through it all, she had no idea what was going on and yet played it soo cool. We definitely have to let her in on future gags ;)

When Uncle Junior learned it was all a joke, he shared that the room was really getting hot. And he was a bit gun shy to open new gifts. hehehehe

Granny & Pa were in on the joke, too.

Here's the onsie:

Then the gift opening returned from his comical break.

And Nathan was eager to help his sisters out ;)

When he wasn't "helping", he was tagging people with bows.

Uncle Junior helping Nathan with his brand new tractor toys.

Then, it was time to clean up. Why not stuff the little boy with all the wrapping paper?? haha

Ruth adored her stocking.

So did Faith, lots of yummy things in there!

Nathan enjoyed stacking all his fruit & raisin goodies as high as he could.

And Ruth? She stole one of the kids' M&M candy canes and ran off to her favorite spot in Granny's house, where she can crawl under a shelf and over a step all at the same time. Except this time, the excitement of the morning got to her. And she crashed. Ok, truth be known.... she's making one last "gift" for her mother... ha But it was too funny a position not to snap a photo of ;)

Aunt Monica & Faith enjoyed painting Faith's new "paint your own" horses. 

She treasures those horses!

And Ruth enjoyed wearing Nathan & Faith's stockings while stealing their presents... haha

And both kids worse their new overalls all day.

It was a wonderful Christmas morning!

Followed by brunch, and a trip for the guys to go "shoot the dump" then Mr Toad's wild hay ride through the property. And a venison roast with lots of goodies for Christmas dinner. What a wonderful Christmas at Granny & Pa's.